Solutions
by Chiharu Octavia
Summary: Abner is staying with Conrad, but the problem at the moment isn't Adelaide: it's Conrad's strange behavior. Is it something in the blood packets, or is Conrad changing? Conrad, Abner, other characters.
1. Chapter 1

"What is this?"

Abner looked up from cleaning his rifle, the barrel resting against the inside of his thigh. "My ammunition."

Conrad glared at the neat rows of bullets lined up on his dining room table, each gleaming a different shiny color of blue, silver, or mahogany. His fingers twitched around the Macbook under his arm. "I get that, but why is it on my table?"

"I was organizing the rounds while I cleaned my gun."

The vampire's expression darkened. "Can't you do that on the floor? Or in the kitchen? Why does it have to be _here_?"

Silently, Abner reminded himself why he was here. It had been almost a month since he'd taken up his stakeout at Conrad's apartment in the hopes of cornering the vampire's sire, Adelaide. Living with the undead had taught him a lot of things that probably weren't useful, as Conrad appeared to be the worst vampire on the planet, but it hadn't been a total loss. There had been small clues that Adelaide might be watching her child, that she and Conrad were connected somehow, and Abner was certain that he would soon corner her and rid the world of her revolting presence.

But until the affront against nature could be removed… there was Conrad to deal with.

By now, Abner had grown more than used to his new charge's outbursts, and had quickly learned that unless he wanted to resort to violence, letting Conrad have his say was the best thing in a conflict. Conrad wasn't much of a vampire, but what he lacked in vampiric spirit he more than made up for with prissiness and perfectionism. Abner could appreciate the perfectionism, but the prissiness… not so much. Still, letting Conrad yell a bit was faster and ultimately less messy.

He tried to explain anyhow. Logic wasn't so easily put aside.

"The kitchen counter is too narrow, and there's nowhere to sit. The floor is dirty, and the light there is poor. I might misplace something."

"You couldn't misplace something if you _tried_." Conrad glared more, as if the intensity of feeling would make the bullets move, then suddenly shoved a hand under his glasses, massaging the bridge of his nose. "You know what, forget it. Whatever. Do what you want. You will anyway. I'm going to bed."

Abner glanced at his wristwatch. Besides telling him the date, the time (to the millisecond) and the position of the moon, it also told him when sunrise and sunset would occur. "You have over three hours until –"

"So? _So_? Do you think I'm going to find her in those three hours, magically, right now?"

"No. It's unusual, that's all – "

"So write it down!" Conrad snapped. He spun and left the table, stalking to his bedroom. The door slammed. Abner looked over his shoulder for Paradox, who was rolling on the couch with a stuffed toy Abner had gotten at the pet store. For a moment, Abner was caught by his cuteness, and almost forgot to comment on the vampire's behavior – not that it required commenting on. It had only been slightly off the norm. Conrad didn't often give up so easily.

"He's angry today," Abner finally remembered to observe in a low voice.

"I CAN HEAR YOU!" Conrad shouted from the other room.

Paradox made a sort of dollop of sound, rippled once in question, and went back to his toy.

Abner agreed. There wasn't anything they could do about it, and his gun still needed cleaning.. Sulking by the son did not mean that the mother might not appear. Whatever Conrad's pout, he would sort himself out tomorrow. Abner had to stay vigilant.

Conrad did not sort himself out.

The next evening, he didn't leave his bedroom until well after nine o'clock. Paradox, who'd posted himself outside of Conrad's door just before sunset, confirmed that the vampire didn't stir at all until then. It was… odd.

Abner sat in one of the dining room chairs, the table between him and the rest of the house, his revolver loose in its holster, and played Solitaire with Paradox's help. As usual, he had one eye on his activity, and one eye on the vampire. Conrad sat on the couch next to Paradox's abandoned toy, drinking absently out of one of his blood packets. If he noticed Abner's watchfulness, he didn't mention it. They didn't speak.

When he was finished, Conrad looked at the empty plastic bag as if wondering why he was holding it. Abner's watch counted off a full three minutes before the vampire rose and threw the thing into the biohazard bin in the kitchen.

"Bad?" Abner asked, trying for neutrality. He couldn't help the bit of disgust that seeped in, though he regretted it. Now was not be the time to antagonize his charge.

Conrad shook his head slowly as he came out of the kitchen, pausing to lean against the doorjamb. "No… not bad. Just…"

"Yes?" Abner prompted.

Conrad's eyes were on the table. "You've got a two of clubs there."

Abner didn't look down. His gaze was on the vampire's face. "I'll move it in a minute. I'm waiting to see what else I've got."

Conrad made an affirming noise, but he stayed looking at the tabletop. His vision seemed to turn inward, and he went that funny kind of still again. It was usually only very old – or very dead – vampires that could manage to pull that off. The ability to remain completely motionless, like a stone, was something they gained over time, usually after many years and many victims. Conrad, killer of no-one, should not possess the ability. Abner's right hand inched toward his gun.

Suddenly Conrad seemed to snap out of it, and his gaze flicked up, eyes meeting Abner's, their usual irritation restored. "Anyhow, I have work. Move your cards, would you? I'd like to use _my_ table, if you don't mind." He pushed off the door and went to get his computer, and Abner was left exchanging a look with Paradox. The ferret slithered up his arm and onto his shoulder, clicking his teeth in the direction the vampire had gone. Abner had noticed the same thing.

Conrad had just finished eating, but his eyes hadn't turned red. They had remained stubbornly, completely brown.


	2. Chapter 2

The next night, Paradox was agitated, and Abner didn't blame him. His partner crouched on the arm of the couch as Conrad ate breakfast, ferret eyes glowing balefully.

Abner's trigger finger was itchy, too. Something was happening, something he hadn't seen before, and every instinct was telling him to GET RID OF IT. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good. Anything could happen when things moved into unknown territory, and Abner hated to be unprepared. As far as he was concerned, leaving this … problem… alone was like walking up to Adelaide wearing nothing but a sign that said 'Free Lunch'.

But there was something that stayed his hand, something besides the desire for Adelaide's disposal. If he observed Conrad's state long enough, it might tell him something important about a vampire's inner workings. He couldn't throw away a chance to learn more about his enemies, to add more weapons to his arsenal against the undead, simply because he was afraid. That was unthinkable.

No, this opportunity was too rare. He had to learn as much from this as he could. Then, if things got really out of hand, he'd take care of them. For good.

So far, 'things' were the same as yesterday. Conrad consumed the blood with less gusto than was usually displayed. And once again, he stared at the empty packet when he was finished, a small crease between his thin brows.

And stared.

And _stared_.

Paradox hissed.

The vampire jerked, startled, and despite his resolve to merely observe, Abner's hand flew to his gun.

But "Your rat's hungry or something," was all Conrad said, eyeing Paradox uncertainly. "If it bites me, I'm going to throw it out the window."

"He won't bite you," Abner said, fingers reluctantly sliding off the rough stock of his revolver. "You're filthy. He knows better."

"Sure he does."

Abner waited, but that was it. The vampire was stayed sitting, still holding the empty plastic bag, still looking at the ferret on the couch, silent again in that strange way that Conrad never was when there was something to whine about.

"Look at me," Abner said sharply, suddenly.

Conrad did, annoyance flashing like light over his glasses. "What."

The lenses cleared. The vampire's eyes were brown, and his skin was white. Not only white. Grayish.

Abner frowned. "You're the wrong color."

"Thanks. What a revelation. Been taking Worth lessons?"

"No. You've just eaten. You should be human-colored. Natural-looking. You aren't."

Conrad made a face, but it had none of its usual elasticity. "You really know how to charm people, don't you?"

Abner stood. He walked around the table and slid his gun out of its holster.

Conrad's brown eyes widened, lightening a shade, and his hands went up, palms out. "Hey, what're you doing?"

"Not killing you," Abner said. He brought the gun up, training it on the vampire's head. "But I advise you not to move. Paradox." He gestured with the gun toward the vampire. "Check him, if you don't mind?"

His partner chirruped and moved closer to the vampire. Conrad flinched, panicked stare going back to the gun, and suddenly squeezed his eyes shut. "Fine, whatever, bite me, kill me! I'm _so_ not surprised!"

Abner didn't bother to contradict him. Repeating oneself did nothing to reassure Conrad. He had to learn things on his own, and Abner wasn't a fan of saying things twice. In the meantime, "Go ahead. I've got you covered."

Paradox nodded and humped over to the vampire. He hesitated, then slid over the back of the sofa and twined himself once around Conrad's neck. Without stopping, he slithered back around, and in an instant he was on the other side of the vampire, scampering off the sofa and onto the floor, running to the safety of Abner's shoes. He stood up on his hind legs and pawed at Abner's pants while chittering his report.

Conrad's eyes were still shut. Abner glanced down, holstered the gun, and leaned over to scoop up the ferret.

"Paradox says you're cold."

Cautiously, Conrad peeked out of one eye. When he realized he wasn't dead, he sulked. "I'm always cold. I'm a vampire, as you love to point out. Dead people are cold."

"Not immediately after feeding."

"How do you know?"

"And you smell."

"What the _hell_. I don't _smell_!"

Paradox said something else, and Abner amended, "Your scent is different. Not as…" He paused, the last word sticking on his tongue. Paradox made an impatient noise and twisted himself in half. Abner sighed, then finished. "Not as clean. More dead."

Conrad grinned for a moment. "Clean? I'm _clean_? Your rat thinks I'm – wait. More dead? What does _that_ mean?"

"Where do you normally get that blood?"

The vampire glanced at the empty packet still in his hands. "I don't know. Worth. Lamont. One or the other."

"Is the blood still satisfying?"

"I guess? It's never been better than Taco Bell, really, but – waitaminnit, what the hell are you getting at?" Conrad held the packet away from himself. "D'you think something's wrong with it?"

Abner reached up to put Paradox on his shoulder. "I don't know. But I suggest you find out, before you get any deader."


	3. Chapter 3

The street was trash-lined and darker than most. It was well camouflaged, as the shabbiness of the building made your eyes slide away from it, reluctant to give it a second glance. There were two streetlights that remained unbroken, and neither one was next to the cracked door they were facing.

Abner knew of this place, but only vaguely. He'd never had a true reason to enter. The doctor here didn't work on vampires, at least, not as far as Abner could deduce. It made sense: a wounded vampire was normally extremely dangerous. Conrad was the only exception to that rule that Abner knew of. Said vampire stood with his hand on an unbelievably filthy doorknob, giving one more wary glance to his jailer.

"Okay. Look. I – I know a lot of people here, so – don't kill anyone, all right? I have to see these guys on a daily basis."

"If I kill them, you won't be talking to them ever, let alone on a daily basis."

The vampire gaped. "You'd kill human beings you've never even –"

Paradox chuffed, and Abner said, face straight, "It was a joke."

"I hate you," Conrad muttered after a lengthy pause, and pushed the door open.

The inside of what passed for the doctor's office looked almost exactly like the outside, except there was slightly better lighting and yellowed linoleum instead of cement. It smelled almost the same, too, although there was a strong reek of hospital-grade disinfectant overlying everything. Considering the dirt that was on every surface, Abner had a hard time reconciling the filth with the cleaning agent.

There was a battered desk near one wall, and the doctor himself was lounging at it, grin as wide and yellow as his floor. "If it ain't m' favorite lamepire! Howzit hangin', Peaches?"

"Bite me, Worth," Conrad snapped. He threw the empty blood packet, crumpled from being in his fist, onto the desk. "You guys are giving me tainted blood, and I want my money back!"

Worth's thin eyebrows went up. "Big accusation fer a man that don' know s*** about blood 'cept how ter drink it." His eyes flicked to Abner, tracing a very deliberate stare over the man's body. "… huh. Brought a bodyguard, did yer? 'Fraid I'm too much man fer ya?"

"You're not enough man for ANYBODY –"

"I'm not his body guard," Abner said. "Answer his question."

Worth matched Abner's stare, but where Abner was deriving no pleasure from the exchange, the doctor was obviously taking a great deal. "An' if I don'?"

"Then I may kill you."

The doctor snorted. "That all? Borin' fuckin', aintcha? Perfeck fer Princess Connie. Bet the two o' yer sit around an' play Uno all night an' watch musicals."

Conrad couldn't blush without blood, but he was clearly uncomfortable. Abner didn't mind that the doctor was correct about half of it. He rather liked musicals, especially when they starred Matthew Broderick. The man was a comedic genius.

Conrad pulled a spine from somewhere and said, "Look, the blood is bad, okay? It's not working!"

"Not workin'? Whassit s'posed ter do, backflips?"

"It's supposed to keep me alive, just like whatever the hell it is that YOU eat!"

"That's jus' recreational," Worth snickered. "An' y'already knew ya were dead. Finally sinkin' in, izzit?"

Abner would've rolled his eyes, if he ever indulged in such things. As it was, Paradox hissed and clambered over to the other shoulder, impatient. "Your patient is dying," Abner said, interrupting their squabble. "If you're any kind of doctor, you'll do something about it. If you won't, then we'll look elsewhere."

"Dying?" The vampire's eyes did that too-wide thing again, and he pressed his hands to his sweater-clad chest, as if he had a heart to monitor. "I can't die. I'm a vampire! I mean – well, I could, I guess, but not like this!" His head whipped around to Worth, hands spasming on his vest as he asked, "Can I?"

Worth snorted and stood up. "Dunno what yer all on about, but it's bullshit. Gimmer yer hand."

Conrad hesitated, and Abner didn't blame him. He wouldn't want to touch the doctor, either. But then the vampire shoved his arm across the desk, hand out. Worth took hold of it with his own grimy fingers and peered at the palm before turning Conrad's hand over.

"Well?" Conrad asked nervously.

Worth didn't answer. He opened a desk drawer and pulled out a scalpel. Conrad opened his mouth to protest, but before he could get a word out, the sharp blade flashed across the back of the vampire's hand. Conrad yowled, jerking his hand back and cradling it to his chest.

"Are you freaking nuts? What the heck is wrong with you?"

The doctor's mouth thinned, his tone turned grim. " 'S not bleedin'."

"What?" Conrad blinked and moved his hand, holding it out so they could all see it. The wound was a thin slit, the grey-white skin folded outward from the useless aperture like a drowning victim's lips. There was no blood.

The vampire made an inarticulate sound, and Worth glanced at Abner. The vampire hunter was surprised to see real hatred gleaming hot in the man's beady eyes.

"This yer doin'?" His teeth snapped at the words, barely letting them out.

"No," Abner said, while at the same time, Conrad whispered, "No."

"Ya gotta eat somethin', Connie."

Conrad pulled his injured hand back against his chest, holding it close. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. That stuff isn't –"

"Then I'll get on Lamont about it, th' prick. Here." Worth shrugged out of his jacket and threw it onto the desk. He tilted his head to the side, exposing a long line of dirty throat. "Take it. I'm alive, I know that right enough. If my own don't work –"

The vampire moved, twitching as his fingers reached for Worth, and Abner responded instantly. His revolver was out, barrel to Conrad's head, mere millimeters from his black hair. Conrad froze, trembling.

"If you touch him, you die."

"What?" Worth's eyes went round, and Abner could see they were blue. The hatred in them had also intensified, making them appear icy, like a husky's. "Are ya off yer f***in' rocker, mate? I _want _'im ter do it!"

"That doesn't matter. You're a human. He's a vampire."

"An what're you, Buffy fuckin' Summers?"

Conrad laughed, weakly. "I can't believe you know her whole name."

Worth answered without taking his eyes from Abner. "Guilt ter go 'round, Princess, if yer know it, too."

Abner cocked his pistol. "Mr Achenleck. Step back, please."

The vampire moaned, softly. "But it might help. I could be _better, _and then – then maybe we could find –" He censored himself just in time. "— find what you're looking for. You want that, right? Don't you?"

Abner hesitated, finger still on the trigger. Of course he wanted Adelaide . He wanted her badly enough to stay with the unnatural thing in front of him night after night, hoping she would re-appear, or that Conrad would miraculously be able to tell him where she'd gone. But there were lines, and blurring them only led to the erosion of purpose. Vampires were vampires, no matter how good they were at Uno or how well they could sing "Marian the Librarian", and people were people. Parasites were parasites. "What I want has no bearing on this. If you drink that man's blood, I will kill you."

Worth's blue beads had sunk back into their holes, and he straightened up, expression wiped clean. He turned away from Abner, but his shoulders were tight under his shirt. Abner wondered if he'd try anything. "Sorry, Conrad."

The vampire shook his head. "You said sorry. Haha. Amazing."

"Let's go, Mr Achenleck."

Conrad didn't move, and Paradox tensed – then he flowed down Abner and onto the filthy floor, scampering over it and onto Conrad's shoe. The vampire started, took a step back, and shied as Paradox rippled up his pant leg and clawed his way over his sweater vest to Conrad's shoulder.

"What –" Conrad gasped, brows knit.

Paradox cut him off. "Dook."

Abner stared. "Paradox."

The ferret looked at Abner, tossed his head, and stayed where he was, tiny claws hooked into Conrad's clothes.

"Your rat –" Conrad choked, but again Paradox cut him off, chittering loudly. "Okay! Okay, I'm going, jeeze!"

He went to the door, glanced back as Abner closed in, and said, "Thanks, Worth," before going out, a white ghost in the darkened street.

"If ya kill 'im, yer gonna be sorry, an' it ain't me that's gonna make yer that way."

Abner gave the man the courtesy of a look back, then followed his charge out into the night.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**: This section really liked being told, and kind of got away from me. Large word count ahead, be warned!

"Your phone."

Something insipid and popular blared from Conrad's pocket, and the vampire fumbled for the phone as Abner glanced at his watch. Almost three hours until sunrise. Three hours, fourteen minutes and twenty-six seconds, to be exact. He glanced at Paradox, still perched on the vampire's shoulder, and the ferret flicked one tiny ear. They'd been away from Worth's for twenty-five minutes.

"Hate this," Conrad muttered as he got the thing out. "Wish it was an Iphone, you know, but the stupid capacitance doesn't work with my - Hello? Oh, it's _you_."

Abner considered stepping back to be polite, then thought better of it. While highly unlikely that 'you' was Adelaide, it might be someone that had to do with her. That, and Conrad was looking even more gray than he had in Worth's office. He might do someone harm - or, more likely, he might pass out and do _himself_ harm.

The vampire turned away from his captor and hunched over the phone. "God, Worth has a big mouth! No, it doesn't matter. No - no, I'm fine - No, I'm _not _kidding! Listen to me for once and just stay out of - no! You're going to get me _killed_!"

Quickly, Conrad shot a worried look over his shoulder. Abner let one eyebrow rise.

"Look," his charge hissed into the phone, "I'm not doing that - no, _you're _not - "

"Give that to me, please," Abner said, stepping close to Conrad's shoulder. "Now."

"What? No, this is a private -!" The gun was flashed, just a hint of it from beneath Abner's jacket, but Conrad didn't even wait until it was pulled. With a weak expulsion of air, he handed the phone over.

"—to your place, 'cause it sounded smarter." Hanna's voice tumbled energetically over itself as he described his idea. "I dunno if Nathaniel can take him, but it's okay, at least he'll be distracted. Just nod if you understand, okay? Wait – don't nod, I can't see you. Say yes. Or say 'I don't wear shoes that size.' That's something he wouldn't get, right? We can be there in half an hour, just as soon as we're done putting this sea monster back into the bay. You wouldn't believe how tricky these things are –"

"If you come to Mr Achenleck's home tonight," the vampire hunter said calmly, "you will regret it."

The phone went quiet.

Abner motioned for Conrad to precede him into the complex and the vampire went, Paradox still riding on his shoulder. Abner followed, sparing an extra glance for the street itself.

Empty.

They reached the elevator before the voice on the other end said, "Look, whoever you are. Let Connie go. He really isn't that great a vampire. He's not gonna hurt anybody, I swear."

"That isn't what I'm worried about." The door slid open, and they stepped inside. Abner's senses recoiled briefly at the smell of stale sweat and powdery air freshener. People were so disgusting. He punched the button for the third floor, and the elevator doors whispered shut. "Good-bye, Mr Cross."

"Wait, how did you know who –"

"It says your name on the phone."

"Oh. Right."

"Good-b –"

"We'll figure something out. We're going to get him away from you."

"I'd tell you not to interfere in situations you don't understand, Mr Cross, but we both know from your track record that you wouldn't listen. Good-_bye_."

The voice rose to a shout, clearly intended for Abner's charge. "Conrad! We'll figure it out, Conman, just stay cool! We'll figure it out, believe me –"

Abner ended the call. He turned the phone over in his hand, thinking. Conrad's friends might know that they were at the condo, but there was really no need to disable any tracking system the phone might have. Actually, it would be better if they tried to attack while Abner was on the alert and in a place he knew well. He would have the advantage.

Plus, he thought as the elevator stopped, he had a hostage.

Conrad stared at the phone, looking sick. After a moment, he straightened up and cleared his throat. "Since you're done and no-one's going to save me, can I have it back?"

Abner had to give him credit: his voice hardly shook at all. He returned the phone without another word.

"She never mentioned anything? What feeding involved, what it required?" Abner sat at his now-usual place at the dining room table. His pencil was poised over a black moleskin notebook that was halfway full of small, cramped writing and pieces of scrap paper. In a back corner of the kitchen, Paradox crunched through a small bowl of boiled chicken still on the bone. Spare bits hit the plastic mat that protected the floor making tiny wet _splat_ sounds that seemed loud in the quiet condo.

The vampire slumped on the couch, his elbows on his knees, a half-empty packet of blood in one hand. It had only been two nights since their visit to Worth's clinic and Conrad was looking worse. There were shadows in his cheeks and at his temples that hadn't been there before, and a thin tracery of lavender-colored veins just beneath his skin. He stared tiredly at the white bandage that hid the unhealed wound Worth had given him, flexing the fingers of that hand frequently and touching the medical tape that ran across his palm. "I _told_ you she didn't. It's not like she sends me daily emails on what I'm doing. I've been telling you this for weeks."

Abner wrote the comment down, though there wasn't much to it. "Perhaps you've overlooked something. If you were to make yourself more available –"

"How much more available can I be?" Conrad shot back. "The bitch killed me, and I haven't even _moved_! I don't even leave my _house, _for fuck's sake! My friends all think I'm crazy, my mother's starting not to believe my excuses –" He shoved the bandaged hand under his glasses, rubbing one eye, and set the half-finished blood on the floor. "God, my head hurts. Can't we do this later?"

"I understand you're not feeling well, but it's better if we get it all down now, before you –"

The knock that cut him off surprised them both. Abner tensed, his grip on the pen changing even as he told himself to stay calm. Anyone could be outside the door, and more than likely it was no-one of consequence. The safest thing to do was to pretend they weren't home. He'd out-waited Girl Scouts and religious peddlers in the past month, he'd out-wait whoever was at the door now.

"Just keep still –" he started to say, but Conrad was already up, a sudden desperate determination on his face.

"Make myself available? Fine!"

Abner sprang to his feet, his hand going to his gun. "Mr Achenleck, wait!" He moved around the table, but there was no time to stop his charge.

The vampire reached the door and flung it open with a sarcastically triumphant, "What do you want? I'm _available_!"

Lamont Toucey stood blinking in the doorway, a strap slung over his shoulder, his dark eyes just a shade rounder than normal. After a heartbeat, he broke into a wide grin. "Well, haha, I have to say, that's pretty much exactly what I wanted to hear."

"Wait – what – you?" Conrad stammered.

Abner's skin made an abrupt and violent attempt to jump off of his body, and he was very glad the layout of Conrad's house kept Toucey from seeing him right away. The blood doll, _here? _Repulsive! Toucey's mere presence polluted the very air, and if Abner had his way, the collaborator would be eliminated as quickly as Adelaide herself. There was no room for sympathizers in the battle against evil.

… except that Worth and Toucey were friends, and if Toucey was here, it wasn't a coincidence. He might have knowledge about the vampire's problem – and that meant Abner couldn't rightly turn him away, no matter how absolutely nauseating it was to even look at the man. If he was going to claim he'd done his job to the best of his ability, he was going to have to hear what Toucey had to say.

The delivery man stepped over the threshold, and even from where he stood Abner could see that the strap was attached to the blue and white cooler resting against Toucey's hip. "All right if I come in?"

Conrad looked like someone had proposed that he screw his own mother. "No!"

"Too late," Abner said, stepping into the Italian's view. He trained his gun on Toucey. "He's already here."

Toucey's eyes shot to Abner, gaze shuttering as he noticed the vampire hunter – but not before Abner saw the calculation there. And the lack of surprise. "So Luce wasn't kidding."

"Shut the door, please, Mr Achenleck."

The vampire gaped. "You're letting him _stay_? You can't –!"

Abner didn't move, but his temper was being tested. The situation was distasteful enough without Conrad disobeying him at the worst opportunity. Now was not the time to negotiate. "The _door_, Mr Achenleck."

Reluctantly, Conrad shut it, pushing the deadbolt home without Abner having to ask. Assured of his control, the vampire hunter gestured to the cooler with a jerk of his chin. "What've you brought, Mr Toucey?"

The delivery man shrugged. "It's for Conrad."

"I didn't call him," Conrad protested. "I didn't ask him to come here!"

"I know, Mr Achenleck. All right, Mr Toucey. You have our attention. Open it."

Toucey glanced at Conrad before going to the table. He set the cooler down and pushed the lid up. Inside, nestled between two blocks of Blue Ice and a bowl, were two packets of blood.

"Did – " Conrad cleared his throat. "Did you figure out what was wrong with the other stuff?"

"No," Toucey said. "But this is a new batch. Here." He held out one of the packets. It was a thick, hospital-grade plastic bag which would've been normal enough, but there was no label or writing on the outside. The blood was almost black within it, and a single piece of clear tubing drooped from the top. "Try it."

Conrad looked at the packet, then at the one in his hand. Hesitantly, he reached for the unlabeled bag but stopped, gaze flicking questioningly to Abner.

Abner lowered his gun. He looked at the blood, then at Toucey just to make a point, and nodded once.

Relieved, the vampire took the bag – and started. "Oh," he said, surprised, "it's warm. Why is it -"

"Microwave," Toucey said with a smile, leaning against the table and crossing his arms. "Hurry up. Don't wanna waste it, haha."

"I hadn't thought of that. I guess that would make it more... you know."

Conrad put the tube in his mouth, showing an eagerness to eat that Abner hadn't seen in days. It should have pleased him that his link to Adelaide was attempting to survive, but the whole thing was suspect. No-one but someone as ill as Conrad would even consider believing Toucey's statement about the microwave. If a microwave had been involved, why was Blue Ice in the cooler? Toucey was lying, as usual.

The soft scrape of Paradox's claws came clicking across the hardwood floor, and within a moment Abner's partner was a warm, clinging weight on his shoulder.

"Dook dook," Paradox murmured.

"Purely professional," Abner countered. He didn't mention the expectation that was rising with every swallow Conrad took, the hope that was growing, the idea that now things would get back to normal – Uno was just one of the things he had discovered a fondness for – and that he would no longer have to witness his charge's suffering. That Conrad would be better purely because… well, it was in Conrad's interest to be so.

_Blurring lines leads to erosion of purpose – _

"Ugh!"

Conrad yanked the packet away from himself. Dark crimson blood ran down his chin and splashed onto the floor, spilling out of the tubing. He smeared at the mess with the back of his bandaged hand, gulping unneeded air. "Oh, my God. It's _his_. It's –" The vampire's shocked gaze flew to Lamont. "You took this out of him ,didn't you? Just now? That's why it was warm?"

Toucey shrugged pleasantly. "Does it matter?"

"This – this is – You said a _microwave!_" Conrad couldn't find the words. "It tastes like turpentine. He's so stupid, this is too much, you're both _stupid_ –"

"Your eyes," Toucey said quickly. "They're changing. It's working. Keep going."

Conrad's hand flew to his face, the blood-smeared fingers leaving gory prints on the lens of his glasses. "They are? Really?" He looked with that same pathetic hope at the blood packet. "Should I –"

Paradox made a low warbling noise.

Abner looked hard, and the brief joy he had momentarily wished to participate in died on its own.

"Yes," said the delivery man, and Abner said at the same time, "No."

The vampire's head swiveled from one to the other in confusion. "No? Why not? I thought you said it was working!"

"If it was, it does not appear to be doing anything for you now." Conrad stared, stricken, but Abner forced himself to continue. "Your skin is still the wrong color. Your eyes are brown. If it had worked, some part of you would have changed for good, or at least for a protracted period of time."

"But it was there," Toucey said, jaw tight despite his easy-going tone. "His eyes were red. Keep going, kid."

Conrad licked his lips. "I don't – it's better than it was, but it still – what if it doesn't –"

"Is your headache gone, Mr Achenleck?" Abner asked.

"What? Um. It's…" The vampire stopped. Slowly, his shoulders sagged. "… no."

The vampire hunter drove the point home, taking no pleasure this time in being right. "Do you feel stronger? Better?"

"I… a little…"

Toucey reached into the cooler, grabbing the bowl. "It's okay, Conad. Forget it, it was a long shot. But I've got one more suggestion."

Hatred for the Italian idiot suddenly flared bright and hot within Abner's throat, and he had to shove his gun into its holster before he shot the man in the face. How dare the turncoat come here. Did he not see the suffering he was causing his supposed friend? He wasn't serious: he was a fuck-up, bumbling around in affairs that he knew nothing about, just like that amateur Hanna Cross. The whole ridiculous lot of them was useless. They caused nothing but pain to everyone they encountered.

Paradox bared his teeth and barked. Abner agreed. "You've done enough, Mr Toucey. Leave now."

The bowl clattered onto the table. Ignoring him, Toucey pulled the other blood packet out of the cooler and slapped it down. "Look at this. Look! It seems like normal blood, doesn't it?"

Conrad peered at it, and Abner glanced down, impatient, "If you say so, but that has nothing to do with –"

Paradox dug his claws into Abner's flesh, shrieking and leaping to Conrad's shoulder just as the first splash of blood spurted into the bowl. Abner's head snapped up, but it was too late. The scent of hot copper filled the dining room, and Conrad swallowed a groan. He took a step forward before shuddering to a halt, hands clutching at his sweater vest, a thin keening sound rising from his throat.

Abner lunged, grabbing Toucey with both hands. "Are you insane?"

Toucey struggled in the vampire hunter's iron grip, the stained pocket knife falling from his hand and clunking onto the floor. "Wait! It'll work!" He twisted around, trying to catch the vampire's attention. "Conrad, just try it!"

Abner dragged the delivery man toward the door, hating the blood that was falling everywhere but not having the seconds to deal with it. Another fast glance at Conrad proved that they didn't have much time. The vampire's eyes were black now, the brown eclipsed by pupils so wide that nothing else showed, and he was staring at the table, mouth open, still making that noise.

"Do you want to die?" Abner snapped, temper gone.

"I'm trying to _fix _him!" Toucey snarled back, digging his heels in. He made an exasperated noise, and his tone changed back to smarmy. "Come on, man, this isn't anything you need to be involved in. I'm his friend, let me help him!"

Abner unlocked the door, yanked it open and shoved the man out, for once not caring that someone might see. "Get out of here, Mr Toucey, and be glad that I won't break human law, even for a blood traitor like you."

"Hey! _Hey!_"

Quickly he slammed it shut, bolted it again and turned, gun sliding from the holster in one smooth movement. Surprisingly, Toucey didn't bang on the door. There was one more "HEY", then Toucey's heavy footsteps retreated down the outer hallway toward the elevator. Abner faced the rest of the condo, braced for an attack.

Conrad was crouched in silence on the floor, his back to Abner. The bowl that had held Toucey's blood was upside down beside him, its sticky rim congealing against the hardwood. Leftover fluid dripped slowly off the edge of the table in slow, soft plops. Paradox was silent on the vampire's shoulder, his small, furred sides moving gently with his breath.

Abner caught his partner's eye, but whatever Paradox had in mind wasn't apparent. Confused, Abner took refuge in process. He aimed at the back of the vampire's head. "Mr Achenleck? Can you hear me?"

"I drank it," Conrad said. His voice was husky, thick with something Abner was sure he didn't want to identify.

"It's blood. It's expected you would drink it."

"No. I didn't just drink it." He dropped to a whisper. "I licked the bowl. I _licked _it."

"You're a vampire -"

"_NO." _Conrad slapped the bowl, sending it flying across the room to smack against the far wall, and surged upward in the same moment. His thin hands were fists, his face a white mask of agony. He took a step forward, then another, entire body tense as if he was fighting his own movements. "You don't understand! You don't _know! _I want _more._ It's _everywhere_ and I want –!"

Paradox twisted, chomping onto Conrad's ear with sharp, piercing teeth. The vampire cried out, surprise wiping the pain from his face. He swung, but Paradox was already running. He shot down Conrad's pants and across the floor to the kitchen, away from his partner.

Abner couldn't run after him with Conrad in the way, could only shout uselessly, "Paradox, don't!" Conrad spun toward the kitchen and Abner cocked the hammer, finger on the trigger. "Stop! If you touch him, I'll end your existence right now!"

The vampire went still, once again facing away from his captor. After a long moment, his hand went to his ear. He touched the bite mark and looked at his fingers. There was no fresh blood that Abner could see, only the rusty, drying remains of Worth's and Toucey's concern.

"... you thought I was going to eat him, didn't you?"

Abner stayed where he was. "I'm not sure what you're going to do, Mr Achenleck."

The vampire's fingers curled in. "You're a liar. I don't care what she made me into, or what you're waiting for. I'm not _like _that!" He ran, but this time he moved so fast that Abner wasn't expecting it. A brief gust of wind, and Conrad's bedroom door slammed shut almost before Abner could register that he was gone.

But Abner had seen. In that brief moment when Conrad had faced him, Abner had seen the pale, perfect white skin, the lack of veinwork showing through. But the eyes had been black. Something had happened with Toucey's blood, but it hadn't been what any of them was expecting.

Alone in the befouled dining room, the stench of blood surrounding him, the vampire hunter clung to his gun and whistled softly for his partner.


	5. Chapter 5

Conrad stopped eating entirely.

At first, Abner was content to let him do as he wanted. He and Paradox went out during the day, to the grocer's or the hardware store, and Abner tried not to think about how it was all right, because he trusted Conrad to stay put as much as he trusted Conrad's friends not to be smart enough to know when to attack.

He also tried not to think about what level of responsibility he'd have if Conrad's friends _did _break into the condo and managed to wake Conrad during the day.

Because they'd probably die.

But they didn't come, no-one came, not Adelaide or Worth or Hanna, and Conrad was left on his own.

With each passing sunset, the vampire's skin became tighter. His cheekbones became more prominent, his eye sockets sunken until he looked like a parody of his doctor. He still had all his hair, but his clothes hung on him, twice as big as they should've been. And the _quiet. _That was the most unnerving. Conrad spent the entirety of every night on the couch, arms locked around his knees, and said nothing.

Abner didn't want to admit it, but even for him the situation was disturbing. Conrad's slow degradation was starting to wear on him, like having to listen to fingernails being dragged across a never-ending chalkboard. He wasn't cruel by nature; he was merely practical. But torture had never been one of his tactics. You didn't torture a rabid dog, you killed it. You didn't watch it starve to death in a cage just because you wanted to call the observation "scientific." His fingers strayed to his gun, stroking the stock absently. He wouldn't hesitate to put down a dog, especially one that was hurting _itself_. Why was he hesitating now? There was nothing more to gain.

He found himself staying in then, passing the daylight hours on Conrad's computer, searching for similar problems and possible solutions. Without Conrad, he would have no lead on Adelaide. Without Conrad, he would have to go back to tracking clues down, one by one.

Alone.

But just like Conrad's friends, nothing appeared to save him.

/ * / * / * / * / * / * /

On the last night, Conrad emerged from his room looking lost. It was the shuffling, aimless walk of the seriously ill, where the change of scenery is supposed to encourage an improvement in health, but doesn't. He moved toward the couch like an old man afraid of falling.

Paradox couldn't take it. After trying to sit next to Conrad, he crept into his nesting box – the one that Conrad had dragged home three weeks ago, Abner remembered, with loud exclamations that the rat was not allowed on his couch, and he'd better never catch him there now that he had somewhere to sit – and stayed there.

Suddenly, the vampire whispered, "What'm I gonna tell my mom?"

Abner looked up from his cards. "What do you mean?"

"She can't see my body like this." The vampire's dull brown eyes flicked to Abner's face. "Maybe I should just eat someone so that I'll look normal when you kill me."

"I could burn your remains," Abner offered, though even to himself it didn't sound helpful. Paradox clicked once, unhappily.

The vampire fell silent again, gaze tumbling inward. Abner eyed his charge's – captive's - phone. He'd never met Conrad's mother, but he imagined his own mother having to identify a desiccated corpse, and he had to admit that it would give her no peace. It was too strange to be believed. A healthy, prosperous son, starved to death? It should've been impossible. Perhaps… perhaps he should allow a call. Or insist on one. Just in this one instance –

The phone rang as if on cue, shrill in the quiet, and Abner's hand jumped to his gun.

"Your phone," he said unnecessarily, forcing his fingers away from the weapon. The vampire didn't answer, didn't even acknowledge that Abner had spoken. Abner looked at the flashing screen. He didn't know the number. But maybe Worth had found a solution. Maybe he could keep Conrad around a bit longer.

He answered it. "Hello?"

There was a pause, then a woman's voice said, "Conrad? This is Conrad's number, isn't it?"

"Yes," Abner said, "but he's indisposed. May I take a message?"

"Tell him it's Toni," the woman said. "I'm almost there. You're with him, aren't you? Hanna told me you were. Let me in when I get there. I'd hate to bust his door for nothing."

"I wouldn't advise –"

"Almost there," she repeated, and hung up.

Abner set the phone down and stood. He moved around the table, stopping in front of the sofa. "Toni's coming," he told his charge.

Conrad shrugged, a flicker of his old self flashing across his face. "I don't care. Don't let her in. I might eat her."

"I doubt you'd do that."

"Do you? Because you're such an expert." He glared up at Abner, lip curling back to reveal his one sharp fang, fury giving his eyes an artificial brightness. "Do you know what you smell like right now? Do you have any fucking idea _how good you smell?_"

Abner stared, taken aback. "Me?"

"Yes, _you_." The vampire was pushing himself farther into the couch, tendons cording on his sticklike fingers as he clutched his legs. "You smell like – I don't even know how to tell you. You smell like whatever your mother's best cooking is. When you've been out in the snow all day, and you're cold and starving and your feet hurt and you can't wait to get inside because you can smell something so warm and delicious coming from the house that you'll do anything to go to her. Anything to be warm, anything to just have _one bite_ –" He broke off, swallowing hard, his dry throat clicking audibly. "Forget it, never mind."

Abner's gun was in his hand again. He didn't remember drawing it.

"Going to shoot me?" The vampire bared the rest of his teeth, but now his voice shook. "Good. Hurry up."

The Uno. The musicals. The midnight talks about Matthew Broderick and creationism and exactly what went into McDonald's hamburgers. All this time, watching Conrad suffer, thinking he'd been keeping Conrad company – _admit it, that's what you thought, underneath the 'study' excuse, that_ is_ what you thought, a death vigil, everyone deserves to have someone with them when they die - _and he'd been dangling himself in front of the vampire, human meat to Conrad's vampire Tantalus. It was quite possibly the cruelest thing he'd ever done, and he hadn't even done it intentionally.

And Conrad _was_ suffering. Conrad hadn't attacked him, but he _might_. In the next few days, was that when he would finally be hungry enough? Was it right to do it now, when Conrad wasn't resisting? Put a mahogany bullet through his brain and end the torture?

"I –"

"You _what? _You _WHAT?_ I was fine before you! I wasn't hurting anyone! And now – now it's all I can think about!"

"Mr Achenleck, calm down –"

"Shut up! You don't know what it's like! You only know whatever stupid factoids you think makes you an expert. Well _fuck_ you if you think your stupid belief in vampires is going to make me kill you or anyone else. I'm not a monster!"

"Conrad?" The knock on the door was more of a bang, the woman's voice the only thing that kept Abner from shooting through the wood as he spun to face the noise. "Conrad, let me in! It's Toni! I'll break it down if you don't!"

Conrad clamped his mouth shut, hugging himself and shoving himself so far into the sofa that the springs squeaked.

Abner knew Conrad was a vampire. He knew all vampires had to be eradicated. He knew that no matter what he said now, some day, Conrad would kill. It was just the way it was, Uno or not.

Good man or not, it was just the way it was.

He raised his pistol and took aim.

"Conrad! I swear to God, you'd better open this door right now, or else!"

He hesitated. The woman at the door would hear. She would hear the gunshot, and she knew a strange man had answered the phone. Had the neighbors seen him? He'd been careful, but he couldn't control everything. Someone might have seen him. More than one someone, possibly. If he shot Conrad now, the body wouldn't disintegrate – he hadn't had "real" blood. He would be a body, and she would be a witness, along with anyone else who heard her shouting in the hallway.

He needed to be anonymous. He could not afford a mistake like –

The door smashed open, slamming against the wall, and something blue and wolflike and skeletal boiled through the opening with a snarl. Its aura burned, the magic spilling over his skin like biting insects, and Abner fired twice, falling back to the table, the shots loud in the quiet apartment. The wolf thing looked at him, sneered, and was suddenly small.

"You can't kill me like that," the girl said flatly. She reached out and shut the door, which didn't quite fit anymore, and Abner groped in his pocket for his silver bullets as the smell of cordite seared his nose.

The girl – Toni, of course, she'd said it was Toni – ignored him. The moment the door was closed, she was on the couch, reaching out to touch the vampire's wasted face. "Oh, Connie. Oh, baby, what've you done?"

There was no liquid in him. Conrad couldn't cry, but he shook his head once, minutely, and tried to pull back. "It wasn't me. It was the blood. You shouldn't _be_ here –"

Toni smiled gently, stroking his hair. "My silly boy. It's okay. Here." She sat up straighter and swept her long, dark ponytail to one side, tilting her head just as Worth had. "Hurry up."

Abner gave up on the silver and said loudly, gun up and trained on Conrad, "I can't allow that."

The look Toni gave him was blacker than Worth's, gaze snapping with anger. "Worth told me you'd try to stop me. Get out of here while you still can."

Abner didn't move. His hand was steady. "Feeding on people is not allowed. He knows he can't touch you. And you may kill me, but he'll be dead first."

Toni glared. Her hand moved down, deliberately covering one of Conrad's. "Is a vampire 'people'? Could he feed on another vampire?"

Conrad moaned, agonized. "Toni, please –"

Abner stared hard, sensing a trap. "Why would it want to? There's no nutrition in vampire blood. It's already dead."

"But he _could_," Toni insisted. "Because he's not 'people'."

"There's no point to this conversation." Abner cocked the weapon. "Move away, Miss. Humans are off limits."

"But that's the point exactly." Toni grinned, feral and unpleasant. Her teeth seemed to fill her mouth, longer and sharper than human teeth, and her hair lifted, prickling in its own wind of power, the blue streaks flaring. Her voice was deeper, rougher. "I'm not _human_."

The air in the room was suddenly heavy and hard to breathe. Abner couldn't move, and it had nothing to do with Toni's magic.

_Not human._

"He needs to feed from something living. You're lucky he didn't pick you. But then – you're human."

The vampire hadn't eaten him because he was human?

His mind spiraled through confusing channels, lost. People ate cows. Wolves ate deer. Birds ate insects. Everything ate something else, that was Nature's way. But wolves weren't killed unless they overcame their food source. Birds weren't killed hardly at all. If vampires kept themselves in check, if they fed on a population that could not be exhausted, that was not _human_ –

He watched as Toni bared her throat to the vampire and patted his hand, her voice gentle and feminine again, though her eyes were still on the vampire hunter. "Come on, honey. You can't hurt me. Drink."

Conrad's eyes were on Toni's dark skin, fixated. "But he'll –"

"He won't do anything," Toni said. "He doesn't have a reason."

Toni was _not human_. Conrad was _not human_.

Dreamily, Conrad murmured, "You smell like…"

"I know."

Abner felt pressure against his leg, and knew it was Paradox. The ferret clambered up his partner, settling on Abner's shoulder, nuzzling reassuringly against his cheek, small noises bubbling out of him. After a moment, Abner reached up with his free hand and touched Paradox's warm body. His gun dropped.

Toni nodded slightly, turned fully to the vampire, and pressed his face to her throat.

Conrad gave in.

THE END.

Thanks for reading~! To be truthful, I have more I wrote after this – what happened to Toni after Conrad was through with her, what Abner did about it, how Conrad and Abner said good-bye – but it turned out to be superfluous. The point of the story was Abner's coming to terms with Conrad in Conrad's entirety, and that's where I left it. I'm sorry if anyone was disappointed by the lack of, erm, intimacies between characters. Take consolation in the fact that I reaaaaally wanted to pair Conrad up. ; ^ ;

… maybe I'll do it anyways. But later.

Hope you enjoyed!


	6. Epilogue

(Put the Epilogue in anyhow. ;P ;; Liked it too much. Forgive me.)

/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/

Conrad stood in the alley behind his complex, hands in his pockets, and watched as Abner put the last duffle bag into the trunk of his car. The vampire hunter shut the lid as quietly as Conrad had ever seen and straightened up.

"Well," Conrad said, putting his hand out, "as much as I'd like to say it's been fun, I won't. I hope you never come back."

Abner closed his gloved hand over Conrad's and shook once, firmly, gaze unwavering. "I hope you never give me a reason."

The vampire made a face. "God, you're so creepy. Get going before someone sees you."

Abner's ferret burbled from the front seat of the car and climbed onto the dashboard to scratch at the glass. Conrad refused to smile at it. "Your rat's going to freak out if you don't hurry."

"Good-bye, Mr Achenleck," Abner said. He opened the driver's-side door and got in, and was about to close it when Conrad shot a hand out and grabbed the frame. Abner's gun was in the vampire's face before either one of them could blink, and Paradox went still.

"Wait, jeeze, I'm sorry!" Conrad said with embarrassment and some heat. He glanced down the alley, flustered. "I forget! Put it away! If someone sees that thing – Look, I just wanted to tell you that I put the Producers DVD in your bag. That's all. I mean, I don't need it. I won't watch it. That's all I had to say."

The gun dropped and was re-holstered. "Be careful," Abner said. He shut the door, started the car and drove off. Conrad waited until he'd turned the corner to make a rude noise.

"I guess it's too much to say thank you," he muttered before turning and going back inside.


End file.
